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Morning blind spot. Venues start opening at 13:00 Thai. Hollow green dots mean at least a 60% chance of working today, based on her 30-day history. They fill in solid when she clocks in.
Morning blind spot. Hollow green dots mean at least a 60% chance of working today, based on her 30-day history. They fill in solid when she clocks in.
🌴

Funky Donkey

owned by Pattaya01 · active for 153 days
Established bar
Tier
Established
Days in business
153
Win streak
5
1 wins lifetime
Best night
Big
Championships
0
Achievements
11

⭐ Signature Staff

Longest-tenured ladies on the roster.

Anna
Maggie's Jomtien · 21w loyal
Patty
Catflaps · 21w loyal
Jane
Catflaps · 21w loyal

🏆 Achievement Showcase

❤
Devoted
39.9% of bars
🐢
Roasted
58.3% of bars
❤
Loyal Hire
65.0% of bars
👥
Full House
73.9% of bars
🔥
Hot Streak
74.2% of bars
🌍
Talent Scout
75.5% of bars
and 5 more

🗺️ Bar Cards

6 / 12 discovered

One card per Pattaya venue. Hire a lady from a venue to discover its card.

🍺
Bradley's
2026-07-16
🎷
Brasshouse
2026-07-16
❓
???
Undiscovered
❓
???
Undiscovered
🐱
Catflaps
2026-07-16
🎲
Club Fate
2026-07-16
❓
???
Undiscovered
❓
???
Undiscovered
❓
???
Undiscovered
❓
???
Undiscovered
🌴
Maggie's Jomtien
2026-07-16
🏝
Maggie's Resort
2026-07-16

📰 Recent feed posts

matchup · 2026-10-02 02:05:12
🏆 FINAL: Funky Donkey 0 vs Dicks 0 Winner: Funky Donkey · Loser: Dicks the Pattaya Turtle: "a result, not a story"
matchup · 2026-09-25 02:07:25
🏆 FINAL: Funky Donkey 0 vs Wong Amat Wanderer 0 Winner: Funky Donkey · Loser: Wong Amat Wanderer the Pattaya Turtle calls it: "a clean kill, no notes"
matchup · 2026-09-15 02:12:54
🏆 FINAL: Funky Donkey 0 vs ANDY 0 Winner: Funky Donkey · Loser: ANDY the Pattaya Turtle calls it: "a clean kill, no notes"
matchup · 2026-09-08 02:11:23
🏆 FINAL: Funky Donkey 0 vs Pattaya Bush Company 0 Winner: Funky Donkey · Loser: Pattaya Bush Company the Pattaya Turtle headline: "the soi knew before the score did"
matchup · 2026-08-27 02:03:01
🏆 FINAL: Funky Donkey 0 vs Velvet Bamboo 0 Winner: Funky Donkey · Loser: Velvet Bamboo the Pattaya Turtle: "if you can't beat them, schedule around them"
Share this page: http://pattayabarsimulator.com/bar/funky-donkey
🌴
Funky Donkey
@Pattaya01
Established
Tier
Established
Days in business
153
Win streak
5
Best night
Big
🏆 Achievement showcase
❤
Devoted
🐢
Roasted
❤
Loyal Hire
👥
Full House
🔥
Hot Streak
🌍
Talent Scout
🗺️ Bar Cards
6 / 12
🍺
Bradley's
2026-07-16
🎷
Brasshouse
2026-07-16
❓
???
❓
???
🐱
Catflaps
2026-07-16
🎲
Club Fate
2026-07-16
❓
???
❓
???
❓
???
❓
???
🌴
Maggie's Jomtien
2026-07-16
🏝
Maggie's Resort
2026-07-16
📰 Recent posts
matchup
🏆 FINAL: Funky Donkey 0 vs Dicks 0 Winner: Funky Donkey · Loser: Dicks the Pattaya Turtle: "a result, not a story"
matchup
🏆 FINAL: Funky Donkey 0 vs Wong Amat Wanderer 0 Winner: Funky Donkey · Loser: Wong Amat Wanderer the Pattaya Turtle calls it: "a clean kill, no notes"
matchup
🏆 FINAL: Funky Donkey 0 vs ANDY 0 Winner: Funky Donkey · Loser: ANDY the Pattaya Turtle calls it: "a clean kill, no notes"
matchup
🏆 FINAL: Funky Donkey 0 vs Pattaya Bush Company 0 Winner: Funky Donkey · Loser: Pattaya Bush Company the Pattaya Turtle headline: "the soi knew before the score did"
matchup
🏆 FINAL: Funky Donkey 0 vs Velvet Bamboo 0 Winner: Funky Donkey · Loser: Velvet Bamboo the Pattaya Turtle: "if you can't beat them, schedule around them"