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Morning blind spot. Venues start opening at 13:00 Thai. Hollow green dots are predictions based on her 30-day history. They fill in solid when she clocks in.
Morning blind spot. Hollow green dots are predictions based on her 30-day history. They fill in solid when she clocks in.
🌴

Funky Donkey

owned by Pattaya01 · active for 108 days
Established bar
Tier
Established
Days in business
108
Win streak
0
1 wins lifetime
Best night
Big
Championships
0
Achievements
9

⭐ Signature Staff

Longest-tenured ladies on the roster.

Jane
Catflaps · 15w loyal
Anna
Maggie's Jomtien · 15w loyal
Patty
Catflaps · 15w loyal

🏆 Achievement Showcase

❤
Loyal Hire
56.7% of bars
🐢
Roasted
63.8% of bars
👥
Full House
74.4% of bars
🌍
Talent Scout
75.2% of bars
✨
Synergy Seeker
84.6% of bars
🏆
First Victory
86.2% of bars
and 3 more

🗺️ Bar Cards

6 / 12 discovered

One card per Pattaya venue. Hire a lady from a venue to discover its card.

🍺
Bradley's
2026-07-16
🎷
Brasshouse
2026-07-16
❓
???
Undiscovered
❓
???
Undiscovered
🐱
Catflaps
2026-07-16
🎲
Club Fate
2026-07-16
❓
???
Undiscovered
❓
???
Undiscovered
❓
???
Undiscovered
❓
???
Undiscovered
🌴
Maggie's Jomtien
2026-07-16
🏝
Maggie's Resort
2026-07-16

📰 Recent feed posts

matchup · 2026-06-29 02:02:40
🏆 FINAL: Funky Donkey 0 vs Poundsand 0 Winner: Funky Donkey · Loser: Poundsand the Pattaya Turtle: "the loser already booked next week's flight back"
matchup · 2026-06-01 02:02:09
🏆 FINAL: Mekhong Memories 184 vs Funky Donkey 208 Winner: Funky Donkey · Loser: Mekhong Memories the Pattaya Turtle headline: "the soi knew before the score did"
matchup · 2026-06-01 02:02:07
🏆 Funky Donkey beat Mekhong Memories in Week 2 (208–184 drinks).
matchup · 2026-05-25 02:01:28
🏆 FINAL: Funky Donkey 359 vs The Designated Drinker 34 Winner: Funky Donkey · Loser: The Designated Drinker the Pattaya Turtle: "there's louder bars in Pattaya, none with this scoreboard"
matchup · 2026-05-25 02:01:25
🏆 Funky Donkey beat The Designated Drinker in Week 1 (359–34 drinks).
Share this page: https://pattayabarsimulator.com/bar/funky-donkey
🌴
Funky Donkey
@Pattaya01
Established
Tier
Established
Days in business
108
Win streak
0
Best night
Big
🏆 Achievement showcase
❤
Loyal Hire
🐢
Roasted
👥
Full House
🌍
Talent Scout
✨
Synergy Seeker
🏆
First Victory
🗺️ Bar Cards
6 / 12
🍺
Bradley's
2026-07-16
🎷
Brasshouse
2026-07-16
❓
???
❓
???
🐱
Catflaps
2026-07-16
🎲
Club Fate
2026-07-16
❓
???
❓
???
❓
???
❓
???
🌴
Maggie's Jomtien
2026-07-16
🏝
Maggie's Resort
2026-07-16
📰 Recent posts
matchup
🏆 FINAL: Funky Donkey 0 vs Poundsand 0 Winner: Funky Donkey · Loser: Poundsand the Pattaya Turtle: "the loser already booked next week's flight back"
matchup
🏆 FINAL: Mekhong Memories 184 vs Funky Donkey 208 Winner: Funky Donkey · Loser: Mekhong Memories the Pattaya Turtle headline: "the soi knew before the score did"
matchup
🏆 Funky Donkey beat Mekhong Memories in Week 2 (208–184 drinks).
matchup
🏆 FINAL: Funky Donkey 359 vs The Designated Drinker 34 Winner: Funky Donkey · Loser: The Designated Drinker the Pattaya Turtle: "there's louder bars in Pattaya, none with this scoreboard"
matchup
🏆 Funky Donkey beat The Designated Drinker in Week 1 (359–34 drinks).