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Morning blind spot. Venues start opening at 13:00 Thai. Hollow green dots mean at least a 60% chance of working today, based on her 30-day history. They fill in solid when she clocks in.
Morning blind spot. Hollow green dots mean at least a 60% chance of working today, based on her 30-day history. They fill in solid when she clocks in.
🌴

Schlongs

owned by schlongsbar · active for 165 days
Established bar
Tier
Established
Days in business
165
Win streak
0
2 wins lifetime
Best night
Legendary
Championships
0
Achievements
14

⭐ Signature Staff

Longest-tenured ladies on the roster.

One
Camel Toe · 23w loyal
Yu
Camel Toe · 23w loyal
Michelle
Maggie's Jomtien · 23w loyal

🏆 Achievement Showcase

❤
Devoted
39.9% of bars
⭐
Star Maker
48.5% of bars
🌸
Hometown Heroes
51.9% of bars
🐢
Roasted
58.3% of bars
🗓️
Monthly Regular
61.8% of bars
❤
Loyal Hire
65.0% of bars
and 8 more

🗺️ Bar Cards

4 / 12 discovered

One card per Pattaya venue. Hire a lady from a venue to discover its card.

❓
???
Undiscovered
❓
???
Undiscovered
❓
???
Undiscovered
🐪
Camel Toe
2026-07-16
🐱
Catflaps
2026-07-16
❓
???
Undiscovered
❓
???
Undiscovered
🌹
Maggie May's
2026-07-16
❓
???
Undiscovered
❓
???
Undiscovered
🌴
Maggie's Jomtien
2026-07-16
❓
???
Undiscovered

📰 Recent feed posts

matchup · 2026-07-23 02:20:09
🏆 FINAL: Schlongs 0 vs Baht Plugs 0 Winner: Schlongs · Loser: Baht Plugs the Pattaya Turtle: "a result, not a story"
matchup · 2026-05-25 02:01:29
🏆 FINAL: Schlongs 402 vs The Drunken Rider 0 Winner: Schlongs · Loser: The Drunken Rider the Pattaya Turtle: "there's louder bars in Pattaya, none with this scoreboard"
matchup · 2026-05-25 02:01:26
🏆 Schlongs beat The Drunken Rider in Week 1 (402–0 drinks).
Share this page: http://pattayabarsimulator.com/bar/schlongs
🌴
Schlongs
@schlongsbar
Established
Tier
Established
Days in business
165
Win streak
0
Best night
Legendary
🏆 Achievement showcase
❤
Devoted
⭐
Star Maker
🌸
Hometown Heroes
🐢
Roasted
🗓️
Monthly Regular
❤
Loyal Hire
🗺️ Bar Cards
4 / 12
❓
???
❓
???
❓
???
🐪
Camel Toe
2026-07-16
🐱
Catflaps
2026-07-16
❓
???
❓
???
🌹
Maggie May's
2026-07-16
❓
???
❓
???
🌴
Maggie's Jomtien
2026-07-16
❓
???
📰 Recent posts
matchup
🏆 FINAL: Schlongs 0 vs Baht Plugs 0 Winner: Schlongs · Loser: Baht Plugs the Pattaya Turtle: "a result, not a story"
matchup
🏆 FINAL: Schlongs 402 vs The Drunken Rider 0 Winner: Schlongs · Loser: The Drunken Rider the Pattaya Turtle: "there's louder bars in Pattaya, none with this scoreboard"
matchup
🏆 Schlongs beat The Drunken Rider in Week 1 (402–0 drinks).