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Morning blind spot. Venues start opening at 13:00 Thai. Hollow green dots are predictions based on her 30-day history. They fill in solid when she clocks in.
Morning blind spot. Hollow green dots are predictions based on her 30-day history. They fill in solid when she clocks in.
🐍

The Turgid Todger

owned by TheTurgidTodger · active for 114 days
Established bar
Tier
Established
Days in business
114
Win streak
7
4 wins lifetime
Best night
Big
Championships
0
Achievements
23

⭐ Signature Staff

Longest-tenured ladies on the roster.

One
Camel Toe · 16w loyal
Nurs
Bradley's · 16w loyal
Pond
Maggie May's · 16w loyal

🏆 Achievement Showcase

🔗
Cross-Venue Vibes
6.6% of bars
🤖
First Blood
16.0% of bars
🃏
Wildcard Warrior
24.7% of bars
💘
Smitten
25.5% of bars
🚌
Bus Me There
31.9% of bars
🔔
Ring My Bell
36.4% of bars
and 17 more

🗺️ Bar Cards

10 / 12 discovered

One card per Pattaya venue. Hire a lady from a venue to discover its card.

🍺
Bradley's
2026-07-11
🎷
Brasshouse
2026-07-11
❓
???
Undiscovered
🐪
Camel Toe
2026-07-11
🐱
Catflaps
2026-07-11
🎲
Club Fate
2026-07-11
❓
???
Undiscovered
🌹
Maggie May's
2026-07-11
🍻
Maggie's Beer Bar
2026-07-11
🌑
Maggie's Darkside
2026-07-11
🌴
Maggie's Jomtien
2026-07-11
🏝
Maggie's Resort
2026-07-11

📰 Recent feed posts

matchup · 2026-08-10 02:04:46
🏆 FINAL: The Turgid Todger 0 vs Backdoor Beauties 0 Winner: The Turgid Todger · Loser: Backdoor Beauties the Pattaya Turtle: "some weeks the dice fall, some weeks the captain throws them"
matchup · 2026-08-03 02:02:53
🏆 FINAL: Neon lights bar 0 vs The Turgid Todger 270 Winner: The Turgid Todger · Loser: Neon lights bar the Pattaya Turtle: "some weeks the dice fall, some weeks the captain throws them"
matchup · 2026-08-03 02:02:51
🏆 The Turgid Todger beat Neon lights bar in Week 1 (270–0 drinks).
matchup · 2026-07-23 02:19:57
🏆 FINAL: The Turgid Todger 531 vs Owls Nest 202 Winner: The Turgid Todger · Loser: Owls Nest the Pattaya Turtle: "another week, another chair to break"
matchup · 2026-07-23 02:19:32
🏆 The Turgid Todger beat Owls Nest in Week 2 (531–202 drinks).
Share this page: https://pattayabarsimulator.com/bar/the-turgid-todger
🐍
The Turgid Todger
@TheTurgidTodger
Established
Tier
Established
Days in business
114
Win streak
7
Best night
Big
🏆 Achievement showcase
🔗
Cross-Venue Vibes
🤖
First Blood
🃏
Wildcard Warrior
💘
Smitten
🚌
Bus Me There
🔔
Ring My Bell
🗺️ Bar Cards
10 / 12
🍺
Bradley's
2026-07-11
🎷
Brasshouse
2026-07-11
❓
???
🐪
Camel Toe
2026-07-11
🐱
Catflaps
2026-07-11
🎲
Club Fate
2026-07-11
❓
???
🌹
Maggie May's
2026-07-11
🍻
Maggie's Beer Bar
2026-07-11
🌑
Maggie's Darkside
2026-07-11
🌴
Maggie's Jomtien
2026-07-11
🏝
Maggie's Resort
2026-07-11
📰 Recent posts
matchup
🏆 FINAL: The Turgid Todger 0 vs Backdoor Beauties 0 Winner: The Turgid Todger · Loser: Backdoor Beauties the Pattaya Turtle: "some weeks the dice fall, some weeks the captain throws them"
matchup
🏆 FINAL: Neon lights bar 0 vs The Turgid Todger 270 Winner: The Turgid Todger · Loser: Neon lights bar the Pattaya Turtle: "some weeks the dice fall, some weeks the captain throws them"
matchup
🏆 The Turgid Todger beat Neon lights bar in Week 1 (270–0 drinks).
matchup
🏆 FINAL: The Turgid Todger 531 vs Owls Nest 202 Winner: The Turgid Todger · Loser: Owls Nest the Pattaya Turtle: "another week, another chair to break"
matchup
🏆 The Turgid Todger beat Owls Nest in Week 2 (531–202 drinks).